New Name, Same Me

I know. It’s a shock to me too. Those who know me, know I said I would never change my name.

So…story time.

Ten years ago, I said “yes” to spending the rest of my life with the love of my life and “no” to his last name.

I had my reasons at the time and I received a lot of flack for it. People would ask, “how could you just not take his last name?”

Honestly, pretty easily.

Through the years, I kept coming back to two main reasons why I kept it.

First, I come from a rather traditional family with somewhat traditional values. And for me, taking his last name meant giving up my own.

It was the first step to being “less.”

I was afraid of being less important, both in my relationship and in society. I believed my opinions would be less significant, thus removing me as a decision maker in my marriage. I thought it would take away my value as a person. The idea of “losing me” and my sense of self because I was getting married was terrifying. There was absolutely no way I was willing to walk into this next chapter and be less of a person simply by being married.

One day, it just clicked. The name won’t diminish you or your value. And if you’re afraid to take his name because you don’t want to be “less,” then maybe you’re with somebody who makes you feel like that. If so, you might be getting married to the wrong person or for the wrong reasons.

To be clear, Nick hasn’t done that. He recognizes our strengths and weaknesses, and how they can compliment each other. He’s praised my effort, admitted his mistakes, and isn’t afraid to say when he’s been humbled.

I got the right guy. This was just something I had to learn.

Second, much of my identity is associated to my name. All my life, I’ve been somebody’s daughter, somebody’s sister, somebody’s granddaughter – people I’m proud of. Giving up my last name meant giving up them.

Losing them.

I wasn’t okay with that. That feeling took a long time to change.

My day job is in a career field my dad used to work in. He retired several years before I jumped into the field. Ten years ago, I showed up to my first career job and was introduced into a new position at a new employer and was introduced as his daughter. Seven years ago, I stepped into a new position at a new employer and again, was introduced as his daughter.

It’s been ten years since I started working and thirteen since he retired. I’m no longer one of the young ones at work and there’s been so much turnover that I only work with a few people who still remember my dad, all of which are happy to share stories with me of when they used to work with him.

It was only recently I noticed when I stepped into meetings, met with vendors, and visited with new colleagues, I was introduced with my name and the position I held – not as somebody’s daughter.

I was finally building a legacy of my own.

Late last year, my husband asked me if I’d finally change my name for our tenth anniversary. I had overcome a lot of the feelings and concerns that held me back for so long.

The timing felt right.

So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce myself!

My name is Courtney Allen. I am a Tri-Cities based photographer who enjoys photographing people and the ones they love – seniors, families, couples, weddings – I’m game! I’ve been doing photography for the past 12 years and I’ve been blessed with seeing families add members and kids grow up to take on new challenges.

One of my favorite things is looking at a photo of my family or friends and instantly feeling overjoyed because I remember the moment behind it. My photography philosophy is to do the same for you.

If you’re looking for a photographer to capture some of those memories, I’d love to hear from you! Send me an inquiry and we will be in touch soon!